I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
