I'm gonna have a badass scar
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
