Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
