My brain says no but my pants say off.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
