I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
