will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
