O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
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