I am puke
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
MIDGETS
????
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
