I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize