i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
