Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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