fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
