Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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