I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
