worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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