At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
