He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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