just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
