Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
