if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
