remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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