Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
