I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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