Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
