I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
