i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
