He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize