All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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