marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
