It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize