6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
