I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
