My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
