fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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