i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
