My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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