What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
