I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
