I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
