The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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