yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
