found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
