She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i drank out of a bidet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
