Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
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