I smell stomach acid.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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