I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
