she told me i tasted like america
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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