Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
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