please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
