i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
