if you like me you must not know who I am
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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