Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
