Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
