Your mouth is God's brothel.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
