I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You have to summon your inner elephant
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
