I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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