last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I touched a dick in church today
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
