i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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