your parents love me but you hate me
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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